Seven Year Chairs
My grandfather loved to entertain. He had a poker room in the house. The walls were decorated with pictures of fancy vehicles and shelves displayed model cars. Liquor, mostly dark, sat in a display hutch. And sitting proudly in the center of the room was his prized poker table. The table was some kind of regular polygon with grooves for the chips and a circular spot on each side. The only problem was players sat in a mixture of dining room table and folding chairs to play. He longed for guests to sit in chairs as dignified as the table they gambled.
It was my grandfather’s birthday and my grandmother took it upon herself to find chairs for the poker table. She selected office chairs; they were brown leather, swiveled, and sat on wheels. The chairs were state of the art and my grandfather loved them.
Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away between the time of my grandmother buying the chairs and wanting to return them. This time period was seven years. I don’t know if it was a Sears catalog my grandmother was flipping through that made her decide the chairs needed updating. But she thought the establishment where she purchased the chairs would except six plus out of the box assembled chairs with her receipt saying the date of purchase was seven years ago and provide her with a full refund. Impeccable logic was showcased.
My grandmother took it upon herself to borrow my dad’s truck and solicit his help loading the chairs. Then she drove the chairs to the original place of purchase. She told customer service she had purchased some office chairs and would like to return them. After showing the employee her receipt, she learned of something called a 90-day return policy. And for a lady who has lived with an unfinished deck for over ten years (this is another story), she couldn’t believe stores had the audacity to implement such short return policies. My grandmother explained that she needed to get rid of the chairs (she has hoarding tendencies, gasp) and they weren’t allowed to come home with her. The customer service employee was very nice and found a thrift store willing to take the chairs.
Nonetheless the establishment which the chairs were purchased remains my grandmother’s favorite consumerism outlet. And she has made a semi formal commitment to spend at least four hours a week shopping there and often exceeds it.
